Go On to Maturity

It’s been a while since our last study from Hebrews (like since last August), but here we are again.  Today we pick up our study with Hebrews 6:

Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, and of instruction about washings, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment.  And this we will do if God permits.  For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt.  For land that has drunk the rain that often falls on it, and produces a crop useful to those for whose sake it is cultivated, receives a blessing from God.  But if it bears thorns and thistles, it is worthless and near to being cursed, and its end is to be burned. – Hebrews 6:1-8 (ESV)

Since it’s been a while, let’s remind ourselves about what is happening in the book of Hebrews.

This book is all about the supremacy of Jesus Christ.  The author, as we can gather from the title of the book, is addressing a congregation of followers of Jesus Christ who have a Jewish heritage.  So, the author makes a case for the audience explaining the superiority of Christ.  He is superior to angels and he’s even superior to Moses, who has a most exalted status in the Jewish religion.  In fact, God has made Jesus “a priest forever, after the order of Melchizedek.”

The audience, meanwhile, is left to consider its response to Jesus.  In other words, after we’ve heard and learned and accepted these things about Jesus, how do we respond?  When we left off in chapter 5, the writer was reminding the audience that they “have become dull of hearing.”  The audience should be approaching maturity in their faith, but, instead, must be taught again “the basic principles of the oracles of God.”  This theme continues as chapter six begins.

(v. 1) “Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity…” – The writer gives these instructions (“therefore”) as a continuation of what he finished with in chapter 5.  You get the idea of a congregation (or at least parts of one) that are struggling with the same old things and not really getting anywhere.  Instead of moving forward in their faith in Christ, the audience can’t quite get the grasp of certain “elementary doctrine(s).”

Another point is worth making here.  As the original audience for this letter was likely a church, it is very likely that some receiving the letter are indeed true Christians and some are not.  This is like any large church today.  The pastor’s sermon is not only addressing the followers of Christ, it is also addressing those who need to come to Jesus.  This is important to remember throughout this passage.  Some who are hearing the message aren’t yet in the family of God and are being encouraged to hear the call of Christ.

(v. 1-2) “not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, and of instruction about washings, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment.” – These are the “elementary doctrine(s)” referred to in verse one.  

* “…not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and faith toward God…” – This refers to a basic part of the gospel message of Jesus Christ.  You can’t work your way into heaven.  Eternal life is a gift received by faith.

* “…and of instruction about washings…” – Some worry about the things we have to do once we follow Jesus.  In the age of the writer, many were coming to Christ from Judaism and wanted to hear (over and over) what kind of rituals should be performed. Christians are instructed to be baptized, but this is viewed as an act of faith and isn’t normally repeated.

* “…the laying on of hands…” – Christians do, however, often perform “the laying on of hands.”  This most frequently today happens when some are praying for others.  This doesn’t “guarantee” that a person will be healed or that some supernatural act occurs.  Today, some use this as part of an act (e.g. faith healers), but is mostly done during prayer as a symbol of uniting believers and as a show of faith because we have heard of great things God has done.

* “…the resurrection of the dead and eternal judgment.” – These are two separate events both occurring during the end times.  We should always have our thoughts above, where Christ is and from where He is returning, but in the case of some early believers, these doctrines had to be addressed repeatedly.

(v. 3) “And this we will do if God permits.” – The instruction in verse one, is to move from the elementary things and onward to maturity in Jesus Christ.  This can either mean moving forward in our relationship with Christ, or actually coming to Christ if we don’t yet know Him.  How does this happen?  If God permits.  We need to realize that in everything we do, we only proceed by God’s grace and mercy.  It’s one thing to realize that we need to mature, but another for it to happen.  And it happens by the hand of God.

(v. 4-6) “For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt.“ – Again, the context of the passage (v. 1-8) is the necessary movement to maturity.  This represents either Christians growing in their relationship with Christ, or unbelievers turning from their sins and following Him.  Both groups have heard the gospel (in a sense, the elementary doctrines).  The time is now to move on to maturity.

Here, in verses 4 through 6, the passage turns to specifically address unbelievers.  How do we know this?  Because true followers of Jesus Christ don’t fall away.  True followers of Christ persevere until the end.  The writer’s point is true:  if a person has “been enlightened,” “shared in the Holy Spirit,” and “tasted the goodness of the word of God,” and then falls away, that person can’t come to Christ again because the person would be “crucifying again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt.”  Therefore, it’s not possible for a person to gain and lose and gain and lose their salvation.

Can a person fall away?  Yes, but they were never truly in Christ.  Can a person backslide?  Yes, but disobedience isn’t the same thing as being apostate.

(v. 7-8) “For land that has drunk the rain that often falls on it, and produces a crop useful to those for whose sake it is cultivated, receives a blessing from God. But if it bears thorns and thistles, it is worthless and near to being cursed, and its end is to be burned.” – The writer uses verses 7 and 8 to illustrate the point being made in verses 4 through 6.  This passage reminds us of what Jesus said in John 15:

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. – John 15:5 (ESV)

So what do we take away from this piece of Scripture?  We need to move beyond the elementary doctrines and move to maturity in Jesus Christ.  This doesn’t mean moving to perfection, but this does mean having a relationship with Jesus.  This doesn’t mean that we are experts in all things Christianity, but it does mean that we are committed to a growing relationship with Christ.

 

 

 

A Look Back at Colossians 3

On this blog, we’ve recently completed a verse-by-verse daily devotional series of Colossians 3 (with a bonus verse from chapter four).  I started this study because of the practical value that this chapter provides to followers of Jesus Christ.

How is this chapter practical?  Primarily because of three things:

1) The chapter realigns our perspective.  As Christians, there are certain things that we need to hold close and remember all the time.  The problem is, though, that even though these things are clear, obvious and important, we drift from them.  And when we drift we take our eyes off of Christ.  And when we do that, our walk with Him suffers.  Here are some examples:

* (v. 1) “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above…”

* (v. 2) “Set your minds on things above…”

* (v. 3) “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”

* (v. 4) “When Christ, who is your life appears, then you will also appear with him…”

2) The chapter reminds Christians about how to handle sin (“what is earthly in you”).  We have a tendency to get cozy up to what is earthly so that we are really comfortable with it, even if we think we have no desire to commit the sin.  But the closer and more comfortable we get, the more likely we are to succumb to it.  Colossians 3 gives clear reminders of what our approach should be toward sinful practices.  Here is what the chapter says:

* (v. 5) “Put to death therefore, what is earthly in you…”

* (v. 8) “But now you must put them all away…”

* (v. 9) “…seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices.”

3) The chapter reminds followers of Christ what they should be doing.  Hearing “no” or “don’t do that” is important and we shouldn’t complain about these things, especially if not doing something stops a sin against God.  But when changing a practice or habit (such as doing the wrong things), it’s often helpful to replace the “don’t” with the “do.”  Here’s a reminder of what we need to “put on”:

* (v. 12) “Compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience.”

* (v. 13) “Bearing with one another and…forgiving each other.”

* (v. 14) “And above all these put on love…”

* (v. 15) “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…”

* (v. 16) “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly…”

* (v. 17) “And whatever you do…do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus…”

* (v. 18) “Wives, submit to your husbands…”

* (v. 19) “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

* (v. 20) “Children, obey your parents in everything…”

* (v. 21) “Fathers, do not provoke your children…”

* (v. 22) “Bondservants, obey in everything…with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.”

* (v. 23) “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord…”

The idea here is that our perspective of Jesus Christ and what He has done for us should change everything.  When we remember the great mercy and forgiveness He has shown toward us – and when we remember that He is coming back, how we view life should change.

When we have this perspective, we should focus on doing the things that please the Lord.  And when we focus on doing that, we won’t see the things above as a checklist of things to do, rather these things will simply flow out of us.

I wish I could say that I do these things as I should.  No, I am one who is regularly crushed by the world.  I am one that needs a constant reminder of what my perspective should be as a follower of Christ.  Hopefully, I can remember this passage frequently so that my perspective will be as it should.

Know That You Also Have a Master in Heaven

We’ve been travelling verse-by-verse through Colossians 3 and with our last post, we reached the end.  But don’t despair, we’re not quite finished.  There’s a “bonus” verse at the beginning of chapter four that we need to talk about before being done:

Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven. – Colossians 4:1 (ESV)

This verse, though it’s in chapter four, falls right in line with what has been discussed in chapter three.  Beginning with verse 18, the Apostle Paul starts to give instructions for wives, husbands, children, fathers and slaves.  It makes sense, to also give instructions to “masters.”

When we reviewed verse 22, we discussed the meaning of bondservants or slaves.  These are people totally devoid of rights; they are owned by someone else.  In this verse, Paul is giving instructions about how to handle those with no rights:  “treat your bondservants justly and fairly.”

Just because someone may be devoid of status here on earth, it doesn’t mean that person is worthless.  We get an idea about that here because the Most High God shows concern for them.  Slaves had previously been given the command to “work heartily, as for the Lord.”  In turn, “masters” are told to treat those subject to their control “justly and fairly.”

The reason for this is simple.  Though God has allowed these masters to act “justly and fairly” toward those they own, this authority, ultimately, points them back to God.  Paul notes, “knowing that you also have a master in heaven.”  The relationship of the masters with their Heavenly Father should control how the master deals with the slave.  When tempted to act unjustly or unfairly – which is easy to do when all power rests in your hands – the masters should remember how their Father in heaven deals with them.  Though God is all-powerful and all-knowing and sovereign, He is also good and kind and just and slow to anger.  God presents the perfect example to follow for those who happen to have authority.

Technically, slavery has been abolished here in the United States.  But, practically, we can still become enslaved.  Our master could be our job or debt or some person we allow to control us.  Likewise, we also play the role of master.  Perhaps it’s related to our children, people work for us or people we hire to do a job.  In both cases, we have instructions from above as to how to act.  If slaves, work heartily, as for the Lord.  If masters, we should know that we have a Master in heaven and we should follow His example in how we treat others.

“The wrongdoer will be paid back…”

Karma.  Cosmic vengeance.  People getting paid back for what they’ve done.  Do you believe in these things?  Sort of sounds good, doesn’t it?

Well, I can tell you for sure that there’s no such thing as “karma,” but we can rest assured that all of our wrongdoings will be given an accounting.  Let’s discuss this by first taking a look at the final verse in Colossians 3:

For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. – Colossians 3:25 (ESV)

The lead in for this verse is the Apostle Paul reminding Christians to do their best in everything that they do, not because there is some earthly reward, but because the Lord will deliver the inheritance:

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. – Colossians 3:23-24 (ESV)

The command to “work heartily” could seem overbearing if not for the reminders of our work being to honor God and that our reward will come later.  There’s also that part of our human nature that always seems to know when “others are getting away with stuff.”  We just can’t stand it (though we aren’t as sensitive when it comes to our own sin).  Though we have the promise of the reward – “the inheritance” – in our eyes, things seem to be left undone because others are having their way.

But this reminder from Paul in verse 25 let’s us know that, end the end, an accounting will be given for all wrongdoing.  There are two simple reminders here:

* “For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done…” – Followers of Christ are called to live a different way.  They are called to honor Christ with their lives and this means that certain things aren’t OK to do anymore.  Others that don’t follow Christ, won’t feel such a call and their sinful practices may continue.  Here, Paul reminds us that such wrongs are given an accounting.  In fact, the wrongdoer will feel the specific retribution for the sins he has committed.

* ” …and there is no partiality.” – The promise that the wrongdoer will be paid back is also followed by the stark reminder that no partiality will be shown.

Again, I think the reminder for this verse is at least two-fold:

• It is intended as encouragement for follower of Christ who are suffering in the present age.  It serves to provide a broader perspective that can’t help but encourage.
• It also serves as a stark reminder that sin will not go unpunished.

Sin, which is present in the lives of us all, is accounted for in two ways:

1) Our sin is paid for by the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.  Jesus Christ was born of a virgin and lived a sinless life so that He could be presented as the perfect Sacrifice.  He died on the cross to pay for our sins and then rose again on the third day to guarantee the payment for these sins.  (Had He not rose again, the sacrifice would have had to be made again.)  To receive the gift of what Jesus did for us – dying for our sins – we have to accept Him by faith.

2) If we haven’t received Jesus Christ as our Savior, we will pay for our sins eternally in hell.  This is the stark reminder Paul is giving us.  There is no partiality.  The wrongdoer – the person without Christ, will be paid back.  God is just.  That means He must resolve and reconcile all sin.  For those that follow Christ, sin is crushed by the work of Jesus Christ.  For unbelievers, their sins are paid for throughout eternity.

This is not an easy thing to speak or teach.  It is gut-wrenching, but our sin is horrible and we must take it seriously.

“You will receive the inheritance as your reward”

In my last post in this series of devotions from Colossians, the Apostle Paul gave us another perspective reminder:

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. – Colossians 3:23 (ESV)

In whatever we do, we aren’t just working for the applause of men.  No, the ultimate audience for our endeavors is God.  Because of what He has done for us, our response – in whatever we do – should be to honor and please Him.  This even includes our work.

This is obviously a great reminder and a great verse, but the verse that follows – our verse to study for today – contains just as great of a reminder:

“knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.” – Colossians 3:24 (ESV)

When we “do things,” whatever we do, as I mentioned above, there should be the continual elements thanksgiving and giving praise to God because of what He’s done for us.  But verse 24 takes this one step further.  This verse gives us three additional reminders of why, in “whatever you do, [we should] work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”

* “knowing that from the Lord…” – As followers of Christ, we live with a constant sense of delayed gratification.  Yes, we are saved, and we can rejoice in that, but this isn’t our home.   Because of Jesus Christ, we have something that awaits us and this comes “from the Lord.”

* “…you will receive the inheritance…” – What awaits us, from the Lord, is our inheritance.  As we are reminded in Hebrews 9:15:

Therefore he is the mediator of a new covenant, so that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance, since a death has occurred that redeems them from the transgressions committed under the first covenant. – Hebrews 9:15 (ESV)

* “…as your reward.” – Our reward, our inheritance, does not come here, it comes later, when we are with Jesus Christ.  Our temptation is to seek our reward here and we tend to forget about what comes later.  We generally want our “prize” right here, right now.  But listen to what Jesus says about the timing of rewards:

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” – Matthew 6:1-4 (ESV)

Let this be our perspective as we live with our eyes fixed on Jesus Christ.

“Work heartily, as for the Lord”

What is our motivation?  Why do we do what we do?  When all is said and done, what really matters most to us?

As we’ve noted throughout this study of Colossians 3, the Apostle Paul is delivering a message to Christians that helps to readjust our perspective.  That adjustment begins in verse one (“If then you have been raised with Christ…”) and continues, as well, with verse 23:

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. – Colossians 3:23 (ESV)

Verse 23 immediately follows the instruction given to wives, husbands, children, fathers and slaves and is really a bookend to the command given in verse 17:

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. – Colossians 3:17 (ESV)

Like with verse 17, verse 23 is addressing “whatever we do.”  And “whatever we do” really means “whatever we do.”  In some verses, the idea of “whatever, ” or all, is presented, though there are some obvious exceptions (which don’t dilute the meaning or integrity of the passage).  Verse 20, for example, exhorts children to “obey your parents in everything.”  The obvious exception to this would be parents instructing their children to do something that would not please God.  In this case, a strong argument could be made that children should not obey their parents.

But there are no such exceptions to verse 23.  The command is made to for whatever we do:

* “…work heartily…” – The idea behind working “heartily” is to give our best.  Our best, no matter how weak we may be or how strong we may be, honors God.  Less than our best does not honor the Lord.

* “…as for the Lord…” – We are doing our best, or working “heartily,” for the Lord.  This part of the verse gives us our perspective.  We may be taught to have a good work ethic, or be taught to do our best in all situations, but our motivation should clearly come from wanting to please God and honor Jesus Christ.

* “…and not for men…” – Conversely, our motivation should not primarily be to please those around us.  Yes, it is important to do our best for our boss or for our parents, or even for our spouse, but our perspective should not be on pleasing these folks alone.  No, our perspective should first and foremost be on pleasing God with what we are doing.

If what we are doing pleases the Lord, then we should be satisfied that it pleases those around us.  But, we really should make sure that what we are doing is our best, that we really are working heartily to please the Lord.  And remember – we aren’t working our best to earn our salvation, but we’re working our best to say “thank You” to the Lord for what He has done for us.

“Obey in everything…”

I became a Christian when I was 28 years old and had already graduated from college, hopped on a career path and was married.  (Children were shortly to follow.)  So when this relationship with Jesus Christ started, my life was already well underway and it was necessary to start viewing all of these things through the perspective of following Christ.

The verse that we’re studying today, Colossians 3:22, was important in changing my perspective once I started following Jesus:

Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. – Colossians 3:22 (ESV)

My paper version of the ESV begins this verse using the word “slaves,” but the online version uses the term “bondservants.”  These words have essentially the same meaning, with the only difference being, as best I can tell, that bondservants may have had the opportunity to go free or be redeemed, but have given themselves over to be totally subservient to their masters.  (I hope I got that right.)  We see this word used primarily used in the New Testament to describe a Christians devotion to Jesus Christ.

Here, though, both words refer to those who are indeed slaves; they are the property of others with little or no rights.  Most of us reading this passage now don’t officially live as bondservants of others, at least not here in the United States of America, but we do serve others and the instructions given in this verse by Paul are very applicable for those situations as well.  Let’s take a look at this verse, piece-by-piece.

“Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters…” – Here Paul is restating the obvious, but with a different perspective.  The true is, people who are truly slaves or bondservants of others must obey those who are their earthly masters.  In this particular verse, though, the Apostle Paul is instructing obedience, not merely because of ownership, but because of honoring the Lord.

“…not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers…” – This speaks to the true heart of service.  Paul is saying that obedience goes deeper than just checking-the-box on a checklist.  It’s also more than doing a super-duper job so that everyone will notice what a fantastic employee you are.  No, the obedience described here is more than that.  Our obedience is for a different reason.

“…but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.” – This is the reason for our obedience.  When we do what we do, it should be done out of a sincere heart and with a sense that we “fear the Lord.”  On one hand, fearing the Lord means that God has the authority and power to judge us and send us to hell, so we should rightfully fear Him.  But fear of the Lord also speaks to a clear understanding of who God is and dictates our behavior toward Him.  Paul isn’t necessarily speaking about obedience because we think God will send us to hell.  No, I believe Paul is saying to obey our earthly masters because we love the Lord and want to honor Him in all that we do.

Yes, Paul is addressing this verse to those who are slaves of others, but this is also very applicable to our relationships where we are serving others.  It could be our job.  It could be at school.  It could be within the community or our neighborhood.  When we honor those in position above us, not just “by way of eye-service as people-pleasers,” but as people who fear the Lord, we honor God and bear witness to the change He is making in our lives.

I mentioned above that I became a Christian at 28 years old.  Live was already underway.  I had to learn how to serve Jesus Christ in each area of my life.  I wasn’t just to honor God at church, I was supposed to live out my faith in each aspect of my life.  That sounds very obvious, but it was life changing for me.  I realized that God wasn’t just God when I was doing my devotional time each morning, He was also my God at work and in my marriage.  My perspective changed (though not perfectly) to serving Him through my service in other areas.  I hope this verse helps you as well.

“Fathers, do not provoke your children…”

Our study of Colossians 3 has led us to a section of Scripture dealing with “rules for Christian households.”  In this section, we’ve looked at commands from God related to wives, husbands and children.  Today, we look at a verse concerning fathers and their children:

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. – Colossians 3:21 (ESV)

This command is very similar to the one given to fathers in Ephesians 6:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4 (ESV)

Both of these verses give a clear command to fathers: “do not provoke your children.”  The dictionary defines provoke as, “to stir up, arouse, or call forth.” In many cases, it might be appropriate to “stir up” or “arouse” our children.  Their study habits might be leading to bad grades or their behavior may be dangerous.  But Paul is not talking about the appropriate type of “provoking” that we have to provide as parents.  No, he’s making clear the negative consequences of provoking.  

In these two verses, he warns that this negative type of parental provoking leads to discouragement and anger from our children.  This makes sense, really.  A dad that is constantly provoking, or that is provoking his children because he is never satisfied leads his children to think that he can’t be pleased.  When there is no hope for pleasing the dad – because he’s never satisfied – that can certainly lead to things like discouragement and anger.

Instead of provoking our children into discouragement and anger, we should follow Paul’s guidance from Ephesians 6:4 and “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”  But how does this differ from the approach of provoking our children?  I think it differs in two key ways.

First, we need to love our children in a way that models how God loves us, His children.  He is merciful and kind, slow to anger and abounding in love.  He gives His children good gifts and He is their Protector and Shield.  He knows that His children will never be perfect, but loved them so much that He gave them His “only begotten Son” so that they could have eternal life.  This doesn’t mean we give our children everything and never hold them accountable for sin.  It does, however, mean displaying love and patience that can only come from a different perspective – the perspective given by the perfect Father.

Second, and this really flows out of the first item, we need to understand that our children are works in progress.  We need to preach and model Christianity to them, but understand that they will fail.  Just like us, they aren’t perfect and we need to continually point them to a Biblical perspective on life so that when they do fail (or succeed) they will be lead in the right way.

It may sound like I have all of this down pat.  I don’t.  I’m actually one of the worst dad’s I know.  Parenting has been extremely challenging for me (as in the hardest thing I’ve ever done) and I’ve failed at it much more than I’ve succeeded.  At this point, I have two teenagers and one still in single digits and parental life is hard.  But it’s not the one day payoff that we’re trying to find.  I hope, by God’s grace, that over time, my children will see that I actually do love the Lord with all of my heart and that despite all of my failings, I love them and want what’s best for them.

And I’m also thankful that God has given me another day today to try again.

“Children, obey your parents…”

We are working our way through a verse-by-verse study of Colossians 3 and we have now moved into the section of the chapter dealing with Christian households.  Our last two studies have looked at instructions for wives and husbands, and now we look instructions for children:

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. – Colossians 3:20 (ESV)

It’s a pretty simple message, right?

a) “obey your parents”
b) “in everything”
c) “this pleases the Lord”

As parents, this verse makes all the sense in the world and it’s one that we’d love for our children to “get.”  But let’s be honest, the first thought that pops into our heads is of the benefits we would receive from this as parents.  A child that obeys me in everything and is doing this to please the Lord?  Yeah, baby.  Bring it own.

There are actually some really practical benefits to our children obeying us.  This practice teaches our children to behave civilly and to properly respect authority figures.  And these practices lead to a more respectable society.  Though in America we supposedly value our freedom, it’s not a bad thing to learn to obey authority (if that authority also behaves properly).

But there is another important benefit of teaching our children to obey us.  This practice models a relationship with our heavenly Father and teaches our children to obey Him.  Yes, in the end, obeying parents teaches a child to be obedient to God.

Unfortunately, however, if we parent badly, this can project an inaccurate picture of God to our children.  Being domineering, mean or abusive can teach our children, incorrectly, that this is also how God is.  And that can, in turn, doubly wreck a young person’s life.

Though many, many terrible sins against children have been committed and covered over by the command that “you have to obey your parents because this is what God said,” this command doesn’t allow parents to do anything to their children and, there are some situations where children should not obey their parents.  As with anything, if a command someone gives is contrary to a command that God gives, God should always be obeyed first.  And as a general rule for parents, if what our child is doing pleases the Lord, it should be enough to please us.

For children, obeying parents is a means to please God.  As the verse says, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”  Ultimately, as children, this is our motivation for obedience.  We may not like what our parents are telling us to do, or our parents may not be people that seek to honor God, but our behavior, as we obey our parents, pleases God.

 

“Husbands, love your wives…”

In our last installment, we took a look at the rather controversial idea of wives submitting to their husbands.  That command is followed by another given in verse 19:

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. – Colossians 3:19 (ESV)

This summer will mark the 20th wedding anniversary for my wife and I.  She’s a great wife and I truly love her and she does a lot of nice things that make it easy to love her.  She’s loving in her own right, she’s the nicest person I know, she takes care of me and she’s also my best friend.

However, even though she does all of these wonderful things, we sometimes do argue.  I still love my wife when we argue, but during these tense times, the intensity of my love (for lack of a better phrase) may appear to change based on what I perceive her to be doing to me.  During these times of arguing, it may appear to some (even her) that my love for her is based on something she did or didn’t do.

I give that example to point out that the Apostle Paul’s command here to husbands is for them to love their wives.  This is not a command based on what the other person is doing or up how much the other person loves us.  This is simply a command to love our wives.

We see a similar but more detailed instruction in Ephesians 5:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. – Ephesians 5:25-28 (ESV)

We see here that the command to love our wives is based on how Jesus Christ loves the church.  This is the model we are to follow.  As evidence of this love, Jesus gave His life for His church.  We are reminded of this in Philippians 2:

And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. – Philippians 2:8 (ESV)

In Ephesians 5, we are not only reminded that Jesus Christ saved His church, but also is in the process of sanctifying her.  This is also a factor in how husbands should love their wives.  No, we aren’t perfecting our wives (nor should they expected to be perfect), but we are to love them in a protecting and nurturing way that leads to ultimately to their benefit.

So you see, a husband’s command to love his wife isn’t simply based on how he is being treated, but it is based on the example of Jesus Christ loving His church.

In this passage from Colossians, Paul also reminds us “do not be harsh with them.”  I think the reason for this is simple.  When someone is submitting to you – whether it’s at home, work, school or wherever, it’s extremely easy to exercise whatever power we have in an unpleasant way.  This is simply part of our sinful human nature.  It’s just easier to bark commands and demand than it is to lead someone committed to us in a loving way.

Within the context of the home, this is especially true.  In hindsight, many, many men – some who are legitimate followers of Christ and many who aren’t – have used these passages from Colossians (especially verse 18) to exercise a monopoly of power within their homes.  In many cases, these homes are brutal dictatorships without a hint of love.  Homes operating in this way totally miss the point Pauls is trying to make from this passage.

As husbands and followers of Jesus Christ, our obligation is to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.  This is a self-sacrificing type of love that builds up and encourages our wives.  This is not a love that allows us to be harsh or to be a dictator.

If you do have a wife, you are truly blessed.  Now, let’s go love our wives as we should.