Bugs, Brains and Bowels

Sweet Wife and I like to take the occasional pause from our busy lives and plop on the couch with our respective bowls of popcorn.  While cruising the channels, one show that we often land on is the one with Andrew Zimmern.  You know, the guy that eats all sorts of weird stuff that will almost making you puke while watching.

Last week, we watched we watched him eat a bug similar to the one below.  They put it on a kabob, put it on a grill for a few moments, eventually popped it with a stick so the puss-like stuff inside would run out – wouldn’t want to ruin the bug meal with a little puss would we? – and then ate it.

Giant Bug

Sounds pretty tasty, right?  No.  No it doesn’t.  I remarked to Sweet Wife that one reason our borders are being overrun is so that people could stop eating bugs.  And that got me to thinking about my own rules for food intake.

My general rule for food is this: quantity.  I like it to be clean and all, but I really just want a lot of it.  But after watching Andrew Zimmern, I realized that rule can’t be applied across the board and needed to be refined.  Well, I thought, I’ll limit my food geographically, but realized that didn’t work either.  Chinese, Thai, Japanese, Mexican, Italian, heck, I love food from all over the planet!

So my rule moved in another direction and here’s what I determined:  No bug, no brains and no bowels.  (There’s also one or two other B-words I could add, but this is a family blog.)

I realized that these were the true guidelines that could indeed be applied universally.  Ants, grasshoppers or a praying mantis?  Are you kidding me? That’s ridiculous.  Even wrapped in bacon they are still bugs.  Brains served on a cracker?  You’ve lost your mind.  Bowels boiled in broth?  No matter how long you boil the bowel in broth, there will always be the truth about this bowel carrying kiddies to the pool.

I do write this post mainly in jest.  Mainly that’s the part where I say I don’t want any part of bugs, brains or bowels. But, of course, the reality is that in certain parts of the world, you make do with what you have and all of what you have. When that comes to food, that means eating all of the parts you can. And, that also points out how we take so many things for granted here in the United States. 

I’m about two generations away from family members that probably lived – and ate – similarly to many on Zimmern’s show. And while I might have a vague idea about that past, my children have no idea at all. In some ways that’s good because of achievements and advancements my family tree has experienced. On the other hand, as time passes many surely forget the hard work and sacrifice of others. 

Well, I’ve digressed quite a bit from bugs, brains and bowels. But maybe the next time Andrew Zimmern takes us on a weird food journey I’ll have a little more perspective on things. 


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